2am

Well.... the pain isnt crippling like just after surgery but I would love to be pain free.  I am doing really great and I think the physical therapist might have released me today but i still limp.  Its 2am in the morning and I cant sleep. My foot is aching, my whole dam leg is aching. I  took some pain meds so I can get some sleep. I want to be done with the therapist, sick of hurting after.

Lol, is it still a midnight rant if its 2am?

I wish I was sleeping. .....

Crutch free

I forgot to post (good sign right?). 

On November 19th at therapy I was made to walk crutch free. That night I had a bought of determination and decided that I wanted to remain crutch free so begining November 20th I am oficially crutch free with one exception. My exception is the swimming pool, its slippery so I use my knee walker and have my sister help/spot me. I use the boot at night when my foot is tired but mostly I am device free. Seams like its taken forever and I still experience pain and swelling but my hobble is slowly looking like a walk.

I so miss driving that I am thinking of sneaking out to the car and seeing what it feels like. I am unsure how the movement will be so just going down the road and back. Nothing major as I am still legally liable until the doctor clears me, but I see him later this week :-) 

Dreaming of embracing my new freedom with christmas lights and hot chocolate, maybe even some shopping.

One Crutch

I am recovering slowly but successfully.   I havent posted in a while because I am doing well.  Although,  it seemed an update might be in order.

Last Friday I went swimming for the first time and this week began alternating swimming and physical therapy. In the pool I walk small laps in the shallow end then swim when my foot is tired, for approximately 30 to 45 minutes.

Therapy sessions now include a variety of the following:  antigravity treadmill,  seated stepper with rounded half balls put on the foot plates, balance board, an isometric machine, manual stimulation, and e-stem.  After an hour or more of this I am quite fatigued.

I  am not progressing fast but I can tell soon I will be walking without the crutch. I have quit my boot also, just a few days ago. I am thinking i will try to use the boot and no crutches .... play with what works.

I believe today is 14 weeks post surgery.

I have been wanting to do fun winter things like go ice skating.  My son is sweet and told me he would go ice skating with me. My thought is that this is a good sign. State of mind is deffinately part of a long recovery.

Feeling foot successful

Had a great day of therapy today!  Worked on the aero G, or the antigravity treadmill for 5 min at 68%weight then 10 min at 70%weight.  The seated step machine with round pads under my feet for maybe 4 to 6 min which really worked my calf, ankle, and foot on my broken foot side.

These times and amounts seem so small and it seems forever having gotten to this point but I am progressing and its exciting.  I cant wait to drive again! 

I am hoping to keep up my good work and walk solely with one crutch.  Pain has finally subsided and I enjoyed muscle fatigue in my right calf and foot.  I never thought I would be happy about muscle fatigue,  guess its all in what you have to compare too.

Antigravity treadmill

Todays therapy session included estem, theraputic massage, and the antigravity treadmill for 10 min.  I walked (with support for 60% of my weight) for the first time with both feet since July 24th. 

E stem

I missed the name, its called E-stem.

The electrical stimulation.

10 weeks post surgery

Weekly seems like a nice amount of posting.  I realize that a left foot injured person is more likely getting out more than me. I cant wait to drive... but carrying stuff is an issue and now that I have gotten used to the scooter and basket the thought of the next big change is both scary and exciting.

I started physical therapy on Tuesday.  I will see Aaron 3 days a week for a while. The massage and electric therepy were pretty great.  I talked alot because I was nervous.

9 weeks post surgery

I keep being asked how its going.  Well, I am still NWB till next week. I still try to do things using my knee scooter. Not sure how much up time I get before the foot looks this purple blue color. The good news is I elevate it and the color gets happy again.  Usually thats the only symptom but sometimes some asleep sortof tingles or swelling comes on too. I have also experienced some odd temperature changes in the foot. It will be cold or hot for no apparent reason. If I notice any reasons I will happily input that. Pain is usually low, not gone but enough for me to easily push forward in somewhat daily life.  My lifestyle wasn't particularly zealously active but I cant wait to get my freedom back. I been trying to figure out how I might get in and out of the pool if I get someone to drive me.....

Sadly I am adjusting to my new lifestyle and I am not sure thats such a good thing.

83 days post injury

64 days post surgery

Aka 9 weeks post surgery

8 weeks post surgery

I am so delighted... this blog might actually help someone besides me. Thank you so much for posting!

I am posting this photo of my new best friend (thank god its not forever) the knee scooter with basket.

My doctors appointment was Tuesday and he said I need to get moving again.  I have alot of muscle atrophy from non use.   However, my NWB has helped significantly so he wants 2 more weeks of that then we will start the PT.  I thought I was going to get in trouble admitting that I wasnt wearing the aircast 24/7 because its heavy.  He added in ABC excersizes.  To me it seems like the perfect compromise to, as he calls it, wake my foot up.  I was fearful about getting back on my foot and this pace is helping me with both mental and physical hurdles. Today I did random sets of drawing ABC with my foot/toes while lounging in front of the tv.  Its amazing how different my foot is now. 

Often I am grateful that I wasnt misdiagnosed by the podiatrist following my case.  That I didnt walk on it after the initial diagnoses of one fractured metatarsal from the ER, because it was really 5 fractures and 2 dislocations. I am so incredibly thankful that I have friends and family that love and care about me.  When I have times of dispare I tell myself how lucky I am not to be worried about getting the rent paid or feeding the kids. It all could have been so much worse and for some it has been. So, many times I find appreciation for my life. If this had to happen... at least it was in a time of good support onmultiple levels.

If your challenged by this serious injury your in my thoughts and if I could help you I would.  Lol, but if not we could have scooter races...

7 weeks post surgery

7 weeks post sugery, 9 and a half weeks post injury.

Sounds like small numbers right... its a long time when you cant put weight on your foot. In preperation for finding my way back to weight bearing, I have been spending more time up and about.  I still have week energy but with my handy knee walker and some help, I can still pretend I am a force to be reckoned with.

I got to put my foot in the shower today, first time in 7 weeks. Sounds gross, doesnt look to nice either, but I will be able to walk on it eventually so I just keep thinking big picture. Heal it now and use it the rest of my life.

I have attached some pre and post shower photos... dreaming of when my foot is pretty again.

Reminder that it gets better

Below is someone else's experience from the lisfranc club on fb.  I just needed to keep this for myself... i am not even 7 werks post surgery but I battle feeling defeated by yhd inability to do things. Still need withdraw from my college classes... checking out from my life has been emotionally harder than i could give credit.

'10 weeks post op - still fatigue, swelling and soreness. 5 months post op - walked all over Charleston, including up and down steps on aircraft carrier and cobblestone while carrying a 20lb baby:) It does get better!'

More reasons to feel loved

I keep intermittently getting gifts in some form or another from those that love me.  I never could have guessed at how much they lift me. Today I recieved a present in the mail loaded with stuff I like.  It made me realize that its so nice to be cared about. Friends and family have made time for me, taken me places, and done things for me.  Each one on its own is generous and nice... but together... well when I think of how much I am loved it overwhelms me and the tears spring to my eyes.

Thank you doesnt begin to cover it!

64 days post injury

Yes, things are now marked in days, weeks, doctor appointments and anything major involving 'the foot'.

Its been 64 days since I broke my foot. 45 days since I had surgery. 3 days since the k wires have been removed.

At the last appointment the k wires were taken out and I couldn't bend my foot to a 90 degree angle aka flat, so it's 2 more weeks of non weightbearing. My calf on 'the foot' side has lost a lot of muscle.  While I had read this in other people's experiences I didnt know how to combat the problem. I have done various leg lift excersizes but those dont really work the calf.  Physical therapy will start once I can get my foot flat.  My doctor made me this handy lil wedge that i can remove layers every 4 days to work towards getting my foot flat. So, its really slow but it is progress.

Trying to keep my spirits up. Family and friends have been great about social calls in various forms. I am more grateful to them than they will ever know.

Pins out today

Having the pins pulled out is an intetesting experience.  Its not exactly painful in the traditional sense... but it is painful. (Disregard that date, its a borrowed package to carry the k-wires home in)

As usual I amappreciative of having a good doctor who is patient and kind. He took several breaks for me. Taking them out at my speed.

Feeling better...

I guess the no news is good news philosophy applies. I have been weaning myself off the pain meds. My foot hurts but a bearable amount. I now just mostly hangout, tryimg to be productive on some level. Right now its paperwork and tunes with my bed being the new desk.

50 days non weight bearing

Its been 50 days since my injury.  50 days of NWB (non weight bearing).  50 days since I drove a car, went grocery shopping (thank god for family), or freely did what I wanted with out a babysitter of sorts lol.

Its been 31 days since my surgery.  31 days of various foot wrappings to cover the k-wires in my foot.  31 days to think...  nothing but think for endless hours and endless days.

13 days till my kwires, or pins, or metal things in my foot... what ever you want to call it, they come out.  13 days till i begin that arduous task of relearning to walk on my right foot again.

New problem

Well... i thru my legs down just like the good ole days and went to stand up and within secods my body was teling me @! $$/#$$/#!':"$^/$& are you kidding me.  I see the new problem, not having so much  pain to tell your brain hey wake up this isnt your regularly scheduled life yet. That boot is an illusion of super protected strength and abilities.

I had a doctors appointment earlier today, so I hope its fine. Ironically my question to him was, 'How worried do I need to be about reinjuring myself'?  He said I made it through that last fall and held so I should be good, and later in the visit reminded me that I need to be patient and take care.  The deal is I hate it when I forshadow my own life. Its not a movie, I don't have free licence to be stupid now that the official you're ok has been given. Heavy sigh... life...what are ya gonna do???

Maybe i need to put a bell on my foot in the day to remind me not to be stupid.  Blahhh!

Photo documentary

If your squeamish, perhaps this one isn't for you.  I am a photographer and an artist.  I couldn't refrain from documenting such a major experience.  As a patient I had no idea what I was in for.  My doctor is patient, kind, considerate and allowed me to photograph my foot.  He is lucky I didn't ask him for photos in the O.R.  Yeah I know I am a bit crazy... its just me. I will try to add in photos from my cell as I can.

Day dreaming of a better story

A few weeks ago a friend and I had been joking about what would make a better story.  In a lecture I viewed online about Lisfranc injuries he listed off some examples.  I cant lie, that would be such a better story.  For example: when I was on vacation  (insert beautiful location), I was windsurfing....  or was I saling? ...was it that time horseback riding?... so many great possibilities so little time...

Slippery cover

My dear knee walker friends... 

I was using this nice soft cover on my walker but the more I use it the more the worn parts make it a bit slippery.  I dont have a typical cast and its summer time so i am mostly in shorts.  I love my lil walker for getting me around and dont want to complain, its just in this circumstance knowing everyplace I need to use caution is critical. I cant afford another fall.

Ps... i put the cover on because i have issues with textures.  So, no plans to take it off... just to use caution. 

Heres a photo of my soft cast type situation and my beloved cover.

My sister

It was my sister that suggested I start blogging. She knows I love writing and I am creative.  I dont know if she knew what a good outlet it would be for me.  I saved many of my entries, waiting to post until i was feeling better. This is because no one can really help with pain and there is no reason hurting the ones I love. I hope it doesnt bother them to read the truth of how I have been feeling.

I have been reading other LF blogs and have decided us 2%ers need to stick together. This is a difficult injury to overcome.

Post op visit #2

Well.... the good news... no major damage from the fall on Sunday.  My surgery is still holding :-)  My 3rd metatarsal might have moved slightly but not enough to be significant.

I had my stitches taken out. My doctor let me photograph it after. In some respects its so amazing and my mind gleefully disconnects... but pain usually brings me back in to my body.

The problem is every time I see him... my foot gets unwrapped, procedures, and then rewrapped. The night that follows is always a hard one.  I think last night I discovered this one is a nerve issue because I raised my toes providing counter pressure with the ace bandages and the pain kind of quit.  I am going to have to take issue with this nerve stuff but.... not looking forward to it.  The pain is constantly changing and its hard to know what I am dealing with. I also get this weird tingling sensation like goose bumps in a particular section of my leg.  Doctor says that's a nerve issue.

I am tired of hurting and tired of being tired.  Perhaps I will cheer up when my friend comes to visit.

The after surgery fall

I had been feeling so good, 11 days past surgery.  I was lowering the amount of pain meds, in fact this had been my best day yet.  It was late afternoon and I decided to take a shower while our house guests were out. While in the shower i imagined writing this about the ackwardnes of doing the most mundane tasks.  However, while I was dressing my knee slipped and in reflex i put my injured foot down to catch myself.  The excruciating pain had me crying out in agony for quite a while.   My family members were worried and feeling helpless. It took me a long time and meds to calm myself.  About 2 hours later I told my mom I wasnt sure what bothered me most, the foot pain or the Idea of messing up my surgery. 

I keep feeling like I am starting over. My foot was broken July 24th, the pain began to subside and then surgery August 12th.   Now, when I was starting to feel better August 23, another set back.  I am terrified of messing this foot up further.  Normally I am a strong person but this is starting to get to me. 

Endless days of foot elevation........
I find I dont feel like talking to anyone. I want to do things myself and cant. I get stressed out by others. I now constantly fear something happenning to my foot.  I have to plan pain meds around functions.

Medicine Rules

So, since I don't take narcotics regularly I didn't know there were so many rules. The part I hate is learning the rules the hard way. Apparently, I have to get the prescription from my doctor with his hand written signature and take it to pharmacy.  I have 12 hours of pain meds left. There are no refills. The medicine cant be called in.  My doctors office is 40 minutes away from my house and its 3:30 in the afternoon when I discover that my doctor forgot to sign the prescription.  Its fixable, but what if it weren't. What if this was 4:30 on a Friday afternoon or the weekend. 

 

For those not used to taking this type of medicine my suggestion is to be proactive in getting your medicine just in case. Better to have it if you need it than have none and get a major pain flare. Last night the pain flared up so bad I didn't know what I was going to do. I made it through and this morning I had manageable pain again but now I fear running out of medicine. I fear that out of control pain. Interesting new experience that I hope goes away in time.

Epic pain

After what I thought was such a fantastic day my foot began to hurt unbearably bad.   I was crying and had to have my mom come over. She rewrapped the outer elastic because it felt tight. I feel like princess and the pea, I can feel everything and its so excruciating.   All I can do is breath and try not to cry.

First post-op reality

So, of course I made it bigger in my mind than reality.  My doctor is nice, kind, compassionate, and good at his job. My visit was a success for both me and my doctor. I couldn't be happier. He did unwrap it and let me take photos. I cant decide if I am amazed or horrified. Perhaps its both.  No lectures about pain meds and in fact an apology about new state law.  Maybe I was being sensitive, or losing my mind. Being super emotional since I broke my foot, is the one thing I notice a lot.  

First Post-op Nerves

Going to my first post op tomorrow.  Everything has hurt and I am scared. It seems like every time I start getting used to something it changes.  I don't want them to unwrap it. What I want is to go disappear in a dark cave like the wounded animal I am. However, tomorrow I will go to the doctor like a good girl. Maybe I will get lucky and sleep. Its 11:30pm and finally my foot doesn't feel like its spasming so much. Nothing is comfortable.  I move one way and I feel like my ankle is nailed to the cross. I move another and it feels like various pliars around my toes and forefoot pulling and grinding in all directions.  Sadly what I look forward to least tomorrow is defending I am in pain or proving that i might need pain meds. I have never been a substance abuser and appreciate the care taken to keep me from that life but seriously... if this isn't managed I see why people flip over to trying something else.  Luckily my dark side is sneaking ibuprofen at night so I can sleep.  F****** druggies are ruining the normal recovery process. In fairness, I have decided I am not dying on a wagon train heading west in the days of old.  My life could be way worse... I could have met Dr. Lisfranc instead of a namesake injury. My coping mechanism of choice post surgery is distraction and visualization.  Not sure how to explain the latter as I made it up for myself. Basically I   imagine the hurting spot and kind of turn it into something else in my mind. For example my pain felt like I had kicked a sharp corner over and over again between every toe. I tried to imagine running my bare foot along a smooth cold ball, gentle cool pressure helping relax my warm foot...... and I would do that until I could think about something else.

Stupid things

The stupidest things bother you when your laid up. For example, somebody cleaned the front of the TV but left dust lines across the viewing surface. Normally I would go fix it but now... getting across the room is effort not to mention finding a cloth, carrying it, putting it away.  All those little tasks used to be no big deal.

The first 48 hours

The pain was excruciating.   In recovery it felt like my first three toes were in vice grips that would never let go.  That eventually turned into that sensation of jamming your foot into a sharp hard corner... only it never stops and hurts in more than one spot.

 

Night 2 I thought I was going to die. I wished I could die or just chop my foot off... I don't scream no one believes me that it hurts.

Better or Worse

1st night of surgery. Trying to distract myself from the pain... 1 hour till meds... I cant believe how much I hurt.  I had just adjusted to the pain of the break.

My doctor swears that the first 48 hours are the hardest.

 

 

The podiatrist says its bad

Initially at the hospital my foot didn't look so bad. Swollen and painful but visually it didn't seam like anything special. If it had not of hurt so much I wouldn't have gone in at all. I knew I hurt myself but I had no idea what I was in for. 

The ER doc got ex-rays and informed me I had a break in the third metatarsal.  He gave me pain meds and told me I could walk on it. I thought, 'this man is crazy, no way am I walking on it'.  I was referred to a podiatrist.

The podiatrist did a weight bearing ex-ray and determined a Lisfranc injury and sent me for ct scans.  The visuals for the ct were really cool, btw.  Anyways, it was determined I had 5 fractures and 2 dislocations.  This became easier to believe once the bruising pattern started to show.  Classic bruising on the under foot and along the outside edge of the top.

On my summer vacation

On my summer vacation I broke the third metatarsal in my right foot. I have never broken a bone before.  So... I am on a new adventure.