8 months since I broke my foot

My friends and family must be watching me because I hear them say, "your getting around good today" or "oh, your limping".

The truth is, even when I am not limping, I still feel pain in my foot. Sometimes less than others but its not gone. This is the point at which patience becomes a true challenge.   I am now fully realising how much muscle atrophy I truly have. Emotionally I have had secret pity parties about dancing, jumping, and general life. I spend more time off my foot than I would ever care to admit. According to my doctor all systems go, Houston we have lift off, and I am free to go back to my normal life. There is some sort of disconnect between what doc says I can do and reality. Reality is: my one year recovery is only 7 months out because I have to count from my surgery date. Recovery is a process, its long and not for the impatient. 

I have come along ways but theres still further to go. 

Perhaps in a year from now I will be active again. I am thinking hiking, dancing, ice skating, not feeling scared to join friends in what ever their activity might be.

Ditching the boot

Well... its been 18 days since my screw removal. I am not supposed to ditch the boot till tuesday but I am so sick of the thing. I unwrapped my foot, the skin has that funny look but the bruises are almost gone.  It still gets purple but overall I think its healing great.  My activity level is still somewhat sedentary but managing that along with pain is still an art form to me. I make it through the day without painpills but if i want any sleep at night i still have to take them.

This injury is so incredibly long term and when I lose heart my mom reminds me of my mantra; the goal is to heal well now so i can function the rest of my life.

Here is the foot photo of the day.

Surgery 2

So I  go to my 1 week post op later today.  I had hardware removal.

Recovery this time is so much better.  Its unclear to me which or all of the following made it easier; I knew what to expect, the surgery was less invasive, my body doesnt like metal in it, or perhaps my attitude and health are better.

How has this injury changed you?

I try to describe to well intended friends and family that this has changed my life. But, how can you describe those changes without sounding like a complainer.  I dont really feel like telling everyone I know all the ways in which this has changed me and why. Frankly I dont think most people have a true understanding of what it means to have their whole life come to a complete stop and when it slowly begins its momentum that the process is long.

I dont feel like telling people yeah I know that injury was 6 months ago but I have high pain days still.  I still feel uncertain about how long my foot will last. I still can't traverse uneven ground very well. I often fear falling and thats just the begining of my emotions on this topic.

Tonight I had to let one of my best friends down. She needs me and i am not going to be there for her.

'How has this injury changed you?'  There just isn't an accurate way to describe it.