Sunday, March 27, 2016

8 months since I broke my foot

My friends and family must be watching me because I hear them say, "your getting around good today" or "oh, your limping".

The truth is, even when I am not limping, I still feel pain in my foot. Sometimes less than others but its not gone. This is the point at which patience becomes a true challenge.   I am now fully realising how much muscle atrophy I truly have. Emotionally I have had secret pity parties about dancing, jumping, and general life. I spend more time off my foot than I would ever care to admit. According to my doctor all systems go, Houston we have lift off, and I am free to go back to my normal life. There is some sort of disconnect between what doc says I can do and reality. Reality is: my one year recovery is only 7 months out because I have to count from my surgery date. Recovery is a process, its long and not for the impatient. 

I have come along ways but theres still further to go. 

Perhaps in a year from now I will be active again. I am thinking hiking, dancing, ice skating, not feeling scared to join friends in what ever their activity might be.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Ditching the boot

Well... its been 18 days since my screw removal. I am not supposed to ditch the boot till tuesday but I am so sick of the thing. I unwrapped my foot, the skin has that funny look but the bruises are almost gone.  It still gets purple but overall I think its healing great.  My activity level is still somewhat sedentary but managing that along with pain is still an art form to me. I make it through the day without painpills but if i want any sleep at night i still have to take them.

This injury is so incredibly long term and when I lose heart my mom reminds me of my mantra; the goal is to heal well now so i can function the rest of my life.

Here is the foot photo of the day.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Surgery 2

So I  go to my 1 week post op later today.  I had hardware removal.

Recovery this time is so much better.  Its unclear to me which or all of the following made it easier; I knew what to expect, the surgery was less invasive, my body doesnt like metal in it, or perhaps my attitude and health are better.

Monday, January 11, 2016

How has this injury changed you?

I try to describe to well intended friends and family that this has changed my life. But, how can you describe those changes without sounding like a complainer.  I dont really feel like telling everyone I know all the ways in which this has changed me and why. Frankly I dont think most people have a true understanding of what it means to have their whole life come to a complete stop and when it slowly begins its momentum that the process is long.

I dont feel like telling people yeah I know that injury was 6 months ago but I have high pain days still.  I still feel uncertain about how long my foot will last. I still can't traverse uneven ground very well. I often fear falling and thats just the begining of my emotions on this topic.

Tonight I had to let one of my best friends down. She needs me and i am not going to be there for her.

'How has this injury changed you?'  There just isn't an accurate way to describe it.