Monday, August 24, 2015

The after surgery fall

I had been feeling so good, 11 days past surgery.  I was lowering the amount of pain meds, in fact this had been my best day yet.  It was late afternoon and I decided to take a shower while our house guests were out. While in the shower i imagined writing this about the ackwardnes of doing the most mundane tasks.  However, while I was dressing my knee slipped and in reflex i put my injured foot down to catch myself.  The excruciating pain had me crying out in agony for quite a while.   My family members were worried and feeling helpless. It took me a long time and meds to calm myself.  About 2 hours later I told my mom I wasnt sure what bothered me most, the foot pain or the Idea of messing up my surgery. 
I keep feeling like I am starting over. My foot was broken July 24th, the pain began to subside and then surgery August 12th.   Now, when I was starting to feel better August 23, another set back.  I am terrified of messing this foot up further.  Normally I am a strong person but this is starting to get to me. 
Endless days of foot elevation........
I find I dont feel like talking to anyone. I want to do things myself and cant. I get stressed out by others. I now constantly fear something happenning to my foot.  I have to plan pain meds around functions.

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